Monday, 25 May 2009

Carpe Diem

Seize the day...

I've decided on my first tattoo. I'm SO excited. Only 9 months to wait...

Something has changed within me

Something is not the same...
And if my mum has noticed it then it must be true.

I'm in love.

Friday, 22 May 2009


Baby I can feel your halo you're my saving grace

I didn't want the past 3 days to end.

I'm sure at some point in their lives,
every person on earth has found another who they could quiet happily have as a substitute for oxygen... someone who they would give their hearts to. Someone they live for. Someone who makes them feel like they're the only person who exists in their eyes. And they are the only person who exists in your eyes.

That's how you make me feel.
No company compares to your company.
No opinion matters as much as your opinion.
No other person will ever catch my eye whilst I have you.

And I've never been happier.

So thankyou. For being mine.

Thursday, 21 May 2009

bring me your love tonight


Love of mine,
Won't you lay by my side,
And rest your weary eyes,
Before we're out of time,
Give me one last kiss,
For soon, such distance,
Will stretch between our lips,
Now the day's losing light.


Bring me your love, tonight.
Bring me your love, tonight.

Lost at sea,
My heart beat is growing weak,
Hoping you'd hear my plea,
And come save my life,
As the storm grew fierce,
An angel was certainly near,
I knew there was nothing to fear.

Bring me your love, tonight.
Bring me your love, tonight.
No I am not where I belong,
Bring me your love, tonight.

No I am not where I belong,
So shine a light and guide me home.
No I am not where I belong,
So shine a light, guide me back home.

You can't play on broken strings...

First of all I'd like to apologise for my lack of coherent blogs recently. I've not really been in a sit down and write sort of mood, so here goes!

Where to begin?
How about the weekend?

Well, on saturday I had work, as per usual and spent most of the day not doing much to be honest! I fancied a lazy day so I hid in the back room most of the day to avoid annoying customers...
On sunday I went to see my wonderful Luke :) I was meant to be helping him learn his Kiss Me Kate lines.............. yeah........... cough
What about monday? Well on monday I didn't have college, so basically just mooched around the house and didn't do much.
Tuesday was just general college lolz, I got a D for my presentation so I'm really fucking happy :) For those of you who are currently thinking WTF? a D is terrible... in National Diploma marks go Pass, Merit, Distinction... so a D is actually the best thing there is! After college I stayed with my lovely again and we watched an AMAZING film called Man on Fire with Denzel Washington and Dakota Fanning. It's all about this guy who becomes a body guard to a little girl in Mexico and she gets kidnapped and he goes on a massive revenge kick and kills everyone. I cried... it's that sad :(
College again on wednesday with INFLATABLE FUN DAY!!! basically, they set up a bouncy castle and a bucking bronko that was actually a sheep and an inflatable assault course. It was lots and lots of inflatable fun. Me and Kerri then proceeded to wait around college for 2 hours for Hoodless and Luke and we had lots of good chats and I rather love that girl. I am Kerri's surrogate mother because I give her money and marmite sandwiches :)
Wednesday evening Me, Luke and Daddy Spoon went to the Ladygrove for candymania and quiz fun times. We ate lots of icecream and failed at the quiz and I got a little bit drunk........ cough

And here I am. I got a little bit bored today so I actually put some effort into my costume construction homework and drew pictures and everything! I better get a good mark. If i don't Tony will PAAAAAAAAAY! hahaha

I think i'm going to go punch something because a certain someone is getting on my nerves. Grr.

Love to everyone else though :) xxxxxx

Monday, 18 May 2009

Some how I can't shake the feeling I might make a difference to the human race

... Or just you... either way haha!

I AM SO EXCITED. I love giving. And I love making plans.

I'm going to give you the best birthday EVER... even if it's not for another 3 months...

I've got it all planned out... and you wont have a clue!

Friday, 15 May 2009

forget regret or life is yours to miss

God it's been a while hasn't it? I feel like I should say I've been REALLY busy and that's the reason for my lack of blogs... but that's a lie... I've been in college two days this week.

I went to see the second years mini musical show last night. It was rather buff, I got to see my boy in all his suited up buffness singing with a big fluffy purple puppet. It was AWESOME. I am also now in love with Rent and really want to see it/sing it/be in it/have sex with it... without getting all the AIDS...
Anyway, after the show me and buff stuff went back to his house and watched a programme about a childrens home (sad yet inspirational) and a programme about male beauty (icky and strange) and then went to sleep haha! good times.

then today I got up way too early for a day off and actually went oput in public with wet hair and no makeup! god I sound like such a princess. I'm not... I'm just really not pretty without makeup.

What else did I do today... oh yeah, me and Chris went to town and bought him some super dry shiz and then sat in Preppy Republic and drank hot chocolate and ate mini oreos and talked about his love life and life in general and it was really lovely. It should be strange, me and him talking about our love lifes... concidering not too long ago that would have meant talking about each other. But it was lovely. And it was so nice to catch up. We then went back to his house to play guitar hero... only to find we were locked out.... in the rain... for 45 minutes! but it was worth it because his mum was out buying two new BUNNIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have named them Dusty and Hazel. And they better stay like that!! hahaha

I am now sitting here getting bored and waiting for my lovely boyfriend to come online because I miss him :(

also... I LOVE AVENUE Q... AND RENT... AND WEST SIDE STORY........... ok I'm finished now...

five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes...

Sunday, 10 May 2009

time square can't shine as bright as you


I'm complete again.

Better not waste my time I got better things on my mind

I just had 4 of the best days of my life.

Special mentions:
Rosie - My lovely sister
James - her lovely Mr
Luke - My lovely Mr
Crabs - My pint sized loooooover
Emz - The friend I know will always be there for me
Abz - The friend who will always be there with tissues and tea
John - The grampa
Alex - The constant Joker
BUBBA OWL - he smells, but he's cute
Kerri - What can I say. Mate I love her. ANN SUMMERS FOR LIFE

Ben, Josie and Posie - my cardews bredwins.


Friday, 8 May 2009

Maybe we'l fly tonight...

It is too early for this.

Wednesday, 6 May 2009

Some guys just can't hold their arsenic.

I don't know why I wrote this. I suppose sometimes It's hard to uphold a mask of happiness just to uphold someone else's.

I look in the mirror,
What do I see?
It’s not my face staring back at me.
But hers, and yours, and the rest in between
And all the lies that you’ve told
And the things that I’ve seen.
Filling my head, scarring my heart,
All the things I’m trying so hard to discard.

Never being number one,
I’ve now come to expect
But I never thought you’d make me feel
Like another face to reflect
In the mirror stood before me.
With the faces of the used
Ignored, belittled, naked,
Discarded, fucked and bruised.

I know I’ll never be her.
I thought I meant more than the rest
The one’s who meant nothing more
Than heat to warm your bed.
Now tell me, do you see me?
When you stare into the glass?
Another nameless lover.
Another that wont last...

Or do I stand beside you?
And do I hold your hand?
How can I ever tell you?
How can you understand?
How it feels to love somebody
And to have none in return
To know you’re just a number
And that number’s never one.

Friday, 1 May 2009


Sorry to everyone i've been a right proper twat to today.

Been in a shite mood and taken it out on everyone

So I am truly very sorry and I promise to be in a better mood tomorrow.

Happy birthday Loz x

the footsteps that were next to me have gone their seperate ways

I know I'm being stupid.

But I don't want to share.

And I don't want to be making all the effort.

And I don't want to compramise.

I want you to be the same all the time.

I dont want two different you's

One with me, and one with them.

Is that too much to ask?

Come on and use me

You know how sometimes you just have "one of those days" as your mum/nan always used to call them? Well I had one of those days today.

One of those days where you can't even be bothered to move, eat, even attempt to do anything interesting.

One of those catch 22 days when all you want is some company... yet anyone's presence just drives you nuts?

One of those days where all you want to do is get out of the clausterophobic space that once was your bedroom and escape to the intoxicating sounds and lights of the outside world? ... yet that involves having to make an effort and get changed out of your pyjamas.

I had one of those days today.

I did attempt to get up, move around, read a book. But it didn't work. I got bored of being bored. I took a 20 minute ridiculously hot shower to try and snap myself out of feeling so terrible... but it didn't work. I attempted to go on msn, but no one was about apart from Lozi who ended up snapping at me for no apparent reason. As you can probably guess, I didn't stay online for long.

I then proceeded to turn the radio on and lay in a dozing stupor on my bed, drifting in and out of conciousness whilst half listening to generic friday evening dance music and half my own daydreams.

I was then summoned for dinner which consisted of lamb chops that refused to cook. I am not a fan of rare meat so this experience did not exactly do anything to cheer me up.

And here I am. Sat alone, listening to depressing music and sipping on a luke-warm beer. The first of many I imagine.

I know I'm a hypocrit. Drinking alone.
But just for today, I want to feel like someone I'm not.