This I Swear By The Stars

I know I shouldn't...



But I miss My Javert... x

Madness Fills My Heart And Soul As If The Great Divide Could Swallow Me Whole... Oh, How I'm Breaking Down...

Sorry for yet another blog about how much I Love Dallas Green. I can't help it. It's like he's writing whats in my head... and then putting it to the most beautiful melodies with such a distinctive and amazing voice. I wish I could write like that.

Anyway, what can I talk about today then? ... *ponders*

Oh yeah, READING FESTIVAL. Wooooooo. Hooooooo.

This week has been pretty good to be honest. Spent almost every minute of it with a certain amazing person with a certain rather good new hair cut... :)

He's being overly nice to me at the moment... I'm becoming suspicious he's done something wrong haha ;)

Tomorrow is going to be an interesting day of manic cake making/hair dying/painting/wrapping/general birthday preperations

Will be nice to spend the weekend with Big Spoon and Fanny. Two of my favourite people... oh and Arctic Monkeys :D

We decided just to write after all...

Work in progress

"And the words wont come
once again I'm struck dumb
because I just can't hurt you
and I'm caught in the tide
of your beautiful blues...
So it's time to choose
Boy
It's time to choose
To run and hide
or to stay here and lose."

Atleast I know I'll never sleep at night...

I don't really have much to say at the moment. I'm too full up with emotions to write a decent blog. About 80% or which are happy emotions...

But I've got a lot to think about.

And a lot of what I have to think about is very confusing and upsetting.
That's why I've been quiet these past few days.


I don't know how to tell you this without upsetting you or angering you...
What do I do?

I hate being a messenger.

And all I want is to be with you.

I Love You

"So i sit and I cry
Because I'm not qualifed..."

I'm done.

I'm reliving my past.


I thought this was my future.


I don't want to live like this again


But it's just SO easy...

"Love, Love of mine...

Won't you lay by my side?
Rest your weary eyes
Before we're out of time...
Give me one last kiss
For soon, such distance will stretch
between our lips..."


I had a dream last night where you didn't exist.


Sometimes it's easier to lie to the people you love isn't it?

You're asked a question,

and you know the answer they want to hear... and being a girl, it's never what you're really thinking, so it's so much easier just to tell them what they want to hear, rather than to say what's really on your mind. So much easier to hear "oh ok then" instead of "Why?" and "What have I done wrong?" And "You have no reason to think like this"
Sometimes it's easier just to bend the truth...

Even if it does leave your real feelings punching the inside of your lips trying to break loose and wreak their havoc upon the world.

So No. I'm not ok.
I'm practically tearing my own hair out.
But what's the point in saying anything?

"I'm still going to do it if I want to. I'm sorry that's just the way am"

That's the answer I always get.

Broken Record. Broken Record. Broken Record.

But then again, I'll probably always feel this way...

I'm actually really happy with my life at the moment.

My biggest problems are currently the small mountain errupting on my forehead and which dress I should wear out tomorrow night, and which dress I should wear on Saturday. Definately does NOT suck to be me right now.

Oh and one small thing... I Love Dallas Green. I'm going to marry him... then have Luke as my bit on the side ;) Or the other way round... havn't decided yet... <3

Anyway, sorry for lack of bloggage recently, I've been far too busy having fun with good people in good places... Except the Ladygrove pub. Boo hiss boo. I don't like you anymore.

Anyway, today I didn't really do much... apart from make a key lime pie. It's kind of a cross between a lemon meringue pie and a lime cheese cake and a banoffee pie. It should be yummy tomorrow. And tomorrow I'm making enough Rocky Road to feed 50 people, plus cheese cake and possibly some brownies and cupcakes. Why you ask, does someone need to do that much baking? Basically, tomorrow night My mum is celebrating the fact she's finished her degree with a massive shin dig down the pub with a live band and food and drinks galore. Should be massively fun times. Then on Saturday... we're having another massive shin dig at our house for the people who couldn't make it to the first shindig on friday. Lots of shindigging will be done this weekend.

I cannot wait.

Though I am a little nervous as me and Luke are performing a few songs on saturday in "the music tent" My dad's idea. I.e. turning our field into a mini festival. I'm still not used to the whole, singing in public thing, which I suppose I probably should do, considering my chosen career path. But it should be fun. And it'll be nice to sing with Luke, because we've never performed together before...

:) I'm so happy

May this feeling never end.

I'm also quite excited about going back to college. Maybe a few things could be sorted out when we're all forced back into the hamster cage we know as the theatre where there's no place to run and only each other for company.
And obviously I'm excited about being an ND2 and doing some proper work...

So all in all I'm about 90% happy at the moment. Which is really rather good for me.


Oh and believe it or not, I'm happy for you. You're a good match.

So I drew a new face and I laughed... x

Last night proves I fail at pool and must resort to cheating by putting my balls in the holes when Luke isnt looking.

...The beers didn't really help much either...

hahahaha :)

My Sanity

Is Spoon shaped.


... and a little bit Bear shaped. And Snail shaped. And tea shaped.

Retribution is a bitch

God's seriously testing me at the moment. Sending me bait to rise to. But I won't rise.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Facebook can suck my cock.

I think I'm on another world with you..

Yesterday was, for want of a better word, FANTASTIC.

London.
London Eye = WELL HIGH AND SCARY AND AMAZING
London Aquarium = SHARKS AND STING RAYS AND JELLY FISH AND TURTLESSSS
Avenue Q = WOW for the second time

It was an amazing day with amazing company. I can't think of a better way to celebrate a 4 month anniversary/early 21st birthday present.

:D

I've got a few spare minutes as Luke is being an antisocial gay and jizzing all over my dad's guitar books, so have a blog...

Having SUCH a good week. Well, my good week started on Sunday to be honest, when some of the coolest people in the world came to mine for the evening for more fake barbeque and bonfire funtimes. It was so lovely to see people. I would have liked a few other people to be there, but for various reasons that couldn't happen.. :( But thankyou to Alex, Luke, Tom, Emma, Abi, April and John for coming round to chill with me. I love you all.

So... what else do I have to talk about...? Well, Luke has practically moved in this week. Arriving on Sunday and leaving on Thursday. He's come to keep me company whilst my parents are away... oh yeah... and to go see AVENUE Q tomorrow!!!!
Oh and go on the London Eye...
and go to the SeaLife Centre...

I give the best birthday presents EVER!

Anyway, I'm off to go finish of a sketch I'm currently working on...

:) x